SCRIPT

WELCOME BACK JESUS

FADE IN:

INT. CLEAN, CABIN LIVING ROOM, SET UP FOR A PARTY        DAY

Camera close up of shaky banner, which reads “WELCOME BACK JESUS”

As the camera pulls back The Tooth fairy and Bigfoot try to level the banner over the fireplace.

Santa sips punch as the Leprechaun on the table dances a jig.

Santa sets his drink down and begins to clap along to the Leprechaun’s jig.

                                                                SANTA

HO HO HO HOHOHO HO HO HA HOHO

INT. FILTHY KITCHEN       DAY

Chester stands at the kitchen door, clutching his basket of eggs, and peeking out to see the living room, with all the guests.

INT. CLEAN, CABIN LIVING ROOM, SET UP FOR A PARTY DAY

Chester suddenly slams the kitchen door open and begins hoping around the room tossing eggs around.

                                                                CHESTER

Sunday Bunny Sunday Bunny Sunday Bunny Sunday Bunny Sunday Bunny Sunday Bunny Sunday Bunny

The Leprechaun stops his jig and stares in confusion

Bigfoot drops his end of the banner to look on with a blank stare

The weight of the banner, now not supported by Bigfoot, pulls the Tooth fairy to the ground.

Santa has an un-amused and slightly annoyed look on his face.

                                                                SANTA (under his breath)

                      Chester

They all look to Santa in confusion

                                                                BIGFOOT

                                                Urghh?

                                                                SANTA

Oh, that’s just Chester, he’s ah, my ah, special nephew. I said I would watch him this weekend HO HO HO

This answer only receives more puzzled looks form the guests

                                                                BIGFOOT

                                                Grughh?

                                                                SANTA

Well the boy wasn't all there to begin with, add getting kicked in the head by a reindeer and it don’t leave you with much HO HO HO

                TOOTH FAIRY

Oh I think I remember that one now. Which reindeer was it now deery?

                SANTA

OH, that was Crimson, poor delicious Crimson Ho HO HO HO

Santa rubs his belly at this thought

EXT. SNOWY FIELD     DAY

Santa stands over a bloodied Chester on the ground with a head wound, with a guilty looking reindeer.

INT. DIRTY, CABIN LIVING ROOM, SET UP FOR A PARTY        DAY

                                                                SANTA

Any ways now Ho HO HO, let’s see if we can get thing tightened up before you know who gets here. Stinky, you help me get Chester back in the other room, while you two try to get this messed cleaned up. Ready break Ho HO HO

Santa starts to run after Chester, but after a few steps gets winded and begins to walk.

Bigfoot sniffs his pit and shrugs and then begins to walk after Santa and Chester

Chester is still hooping and tossing eggs

The Tooth Fairy and Leprechaun look at a broken egg and back to each other then back to broken egg.

The leprechaun shrugs and takes out a tiny flask and takes a drink, then offers it to the Tooth Fairy.

As the Tooth Fairy (blushing) reaches for the flask, the front door bursts open

Everyone freezes

Standing in the door way sounded by bright lights and hymnal music stands Jesus.

                                                                JESUS

                                                  I have returned

Jesus surveys the room and lights and hymnal music stop

Chester hops up to Jesus and offers him an egg

                                                                JESUS

                                                Is this for me? Is all this for me?

Chester gives Jesus a big special nod.

                                                                JESUS

                                                I love it

Jesus takes the egg

The egg breaks leaving a runny mess in Jesus’s hand.

Jesus looks from the mess to Chester

Chester leans in real close to Jesus

                                                CHESTER (whispering)

                                I hid them everywhere

FADE OUT: